I've just been given one of the greatest compliments of my life. I was reminiscing with my mom about our family as I grew up... and as I was thinking about how much love we all got from my dad over the years, Mom commented off-handedly: "You do more for your family than your dad ever did."
I cannot express in words my deep satisfaction at being told such a thing.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The coat off his back
Would you give someone the coat off your back?
I've stopped on the side of the road and spent a few minutes to help someone who ran out of gas, but I have never given someone anything like the coat I was using in the middle of a Utah winter.
I heard about this story through a short Twitter post, and I had to ask to get more of the story from the observer, so he gave me a summary. My first thought was: I've got to get more details! But the truth is that I don't need to know any more; in fact, more details would actually detract from the telling. After reading it, I had to read it over again from the start. And that's the strength of this man's act: it's simply stated, but it's powerful because it seems like such a sacrifice and it's so spontaneous.
Along with those details, the observer wrote: "I think the leader was particularly pleased that nobody really noticed or made a big deal out of it." That's another subtle point to this story: such actions are so grand that it would almost be demeaning for someone to offer the giver a compliment and recognize what he did. That type of recognition is fine for some things, but in this case I think it would be a cause of embarrassment; this was done to help someone else in a big way, and this bit of heaven that he brought transcends any kind of recognition we could offer.
---
After a scouting function, one of the leaders stayed and talked for a while with one of the families. Finally, he took off his coat and gave it to the man, who said, "But what will you wear?"
"I have other coats at home."
"What about on your way home?"
"It's OK. I'm used to the cold."
The recipient expressed his thanks, and they each went their own way.
---
I've stopped on the side of the road and spent a few minutes to help someone who ran out of gas, but I have never given someone anything like the coat I was using in the middle of a Utah winter.
I heard about this story through a short Twitter post, and I had to ask to get more of the story from the observer, so he gave me a summary. My first thought was: I've got to get more details! But the truth is that I don't need to know any more; in fact, more details would actually detract from the telling. After reading it, I had to read it over again from the start. And that's the strength of this man's act: it's simply stated, but it's powerful because it seems like such a sacrifice and it's so spontaneous.
Along with those details, the observer wrote: "I think the leader was particularly pleased that nobody really noticed or made a big deal out of it." That's another subtle point to this story: such actions are so grand that it would almost be demeaning for someone to offer the giver a compliment and recognize what he did. That type of recognition is fine for some things, but in this case I think it would be a cause of embarrassment; this was done to help someone else in a big way, and this bit of heaven that he brought transcends any kind of recognition we could offer.
---
After a scouting function, one of the leaders stayed and talked for a while with one of the families. Finally, he took off his coat and gave it to the man, who said, "But what will you wear?"
"I have other coats at home."
"What about on your way home?"
"It's OK. I'm used to the cold."
The recipient expressed his thanks, and they each went their own way.
---
Saturday, December 6, 2008
a husband's loving example, years later
This past week was my parents' anniversary, and today is my dad's birthday. Dad died a few years ago; Mom now lives here in Salt Lake, and she decided to go back to Missouri where he is buried to memorialize him this week. I drove her to the airport, and we ended up discussing some of the issues (AKA problems) of the family out here in Utah, and she talked a bit about Dad's example to her.
Dad was more patient and hard-working than most, and although things rarely worked out the way he planned, he always focused on the blessings in his life; he always trusted that things would work out, and he continually kept up a cheery attitude. This was remarkable to us while he was alive, and we respect it even more now that he's passed on. Mom is no exception: she admits that she sometimes took a grim view of things when they didn't have much money or stability in their lives, and she admires Dad all the more now because he was steady even when she was not.
So she mentioned some of the things that are difficult for her now. It wasn't an expression of self-pity, and there was no sense of complaint; there are some things that she is enduring, but even more than that she's trying to make situations better even where there's almost no hope for things to get better. That's the type of attitude that's inspiring: rather than harboring resentment or giving up, you attempt different things and push doggedly through the never-ending problems until you find something that helps. That's Dad's attitude. She cried as she explained how good he was when they first moved to Missouri and didn't have anything; he was good even though he had frustrations and he felt her frustrations. That example keeps her striving to be better and kinder in whatever tough personal issue comes up.
That's how loving-kindness changes lives, even years after the fact.
Dad was more patient and hard-working than most, and although things rarely worked out the way he planned, he always focused on the blessings in his life; he always trusted that things would work out, and he continually kept up a cheery attitude. This was remarkable to us while he was alive, and we respect it even more now that he's passed on. Mom is no exception: she admits that she sometimes took a grim view of things when they didn't have much money or stability in their lives, and she admires Dad all the more now because he was steady even when she was not.
So she mentioned some of the things that are difficult for her now. It wasn't an expression of self-pity, and there was no sense of complaint; there are some things that she is enduring, but even more than that she's trying to make situations better even where there's almost no hope for things to get better. That's the type of attitude that's inspiring: rather than harboring resentment or giving up, you attempt different things and push doggedly through the never-ending problems until you find something that helps. That's Dad's attitude. She cried as she explained how good he was when they first moved to Missouri and didn't have anything; he was good even though he had frustrations and he felt her frustrations. That example keeps her striving to be better and kinder in whatever tough personal issue comes up.
That's how loving-kindness changes lives, even years after the fact.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Repeat Customers
A friend of mine creates quilts by hand and sells them at a show in Las Vegas. They're very original, created with swatches of whatever she likes: Tinkerbell, camouflage, and even a Christmas-themed Elvis one. She got back from her most recent show the other day and was talking about her adventures, and she mentioned how some of her customers had returned to buy another quilt. What a rush! The fact that someone likes your work enough to pay money in the first place has its non-monetary benefits, but to have someone come back a year later and seek you out so they can again get something you have created... that must be a great feeling.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
a gift of decorations
Last weekend was Olivia's birthday, and the older neighbor girls decided to give her a surprise: they crepe-papered our house, forked our lawn with balloons attached, and they dropped off some edible gifts (Olivia's favorite).
What a fantastic, fun gift! They spent valuable late-night time and energy to secretly leave something that we'd stumble upon in the morning. I daresay it's not everyone who has friends that make such a creative effort to celebrate their birthday. That is loving kindness.
And you can tell it was appreciated!
What a fantastic, fun gift! They spent valuable late-night time and energy to secretly leave something that we'd stumble upon in the morning. I daresay it's not everyone who has friends that make such a creative effort to celebrate their birthday. That is loving kindness.
And you can tell it was appreciated!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
A day of abundance in a musician's life
Benjamin Zander did this little workshop with the audience and a young performer, talking about the world of abundance and training a young musician as you watch. Not only does it make you smile as he does it, but he brings out a great attitude in the young man, and at the end you can finally see a bit of light in his eyes. What a wonderful, fun experience!
Friday, November 7, 2008
"Forever Strong" - What a legacy!
A week ago we saw Forever Strong, about a rugby player in trouble who found a place on his rival team Highland High. It's based on a true story, and the Highland rugby team really has won 17 national championships with their 367 wins and only 9 losses in the last 30 years. It's fascinating! I have never heard of this before watching the movie, and it's hard to believe I have such a triumphant organization here in my state that I've never known about. And it's an interesting individual story depicted in the move; I've searched around for more details, to no avail.
But with Larry Gelwix's sustained focus and integrity over the course of 30 years, there must be at least 30 other stories just as interesting. I'm sure everyone who has been through those teams must have been inspired, not to mention proud of such accomplishments. This kind of legacy, quietly but steadily built, is the grandest: it'll endure through many lives and possibly even generations.
The following is from a newspaper article:
---
After reading that, you must read the rest on the last page of the article. This is exactly the way to lead a life of greatness.
The movie was decent, but I was impressed and moved as I watched it knowing it is reality.
But with Larry Gelwix's sustained focus and integrity over the course of 30 years, there must be at least 30 other stories just as interesting. I'm sure everyone who has been through those teams must have been inspired, not to mention proud of such accomplishments. This kind of legacy, quietly but steadily built, is the grandest: it'll endure through many lives and possibly even generations.
The following is from a newspaper article:
---
"It's not about rugby," he says. "It's about helping young men grow up with their feet on the ground and hopefully avoiding a lot of the junk of life. Rugby is just a vehicle. It's infinitely easier to turn out championship teams than championship boys."
Gelwix has one primary rule: Don't do anything that would embarrass you, your family or the team. "Everything is covered by that," he said. More specifically, alcohol and drugs are forbidden. Lying or dishonesty of any sort is the gravest sin on the team and results in suspension.
---After reading that, you must read the rest on the last page of the article. This is exactly the way to lead a life of greatness.
The movie was decent, but I was impressed and moved as I watched it knowing it is reality.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
