Recent Funerals

Are funerals sad?

No. We're sad at funerals because their whole purpose is to recognize what we've lost; we also have a hard time as we realize more and more how much we will miss that person in the future. However, funerals themselves are thought-provoking, solemn, and reverent. They bring out the deepest sentiments in everyone involved. They are truly growing experiences that help us learn to cope. In fact, they're exhausting for me because they're so powerfully emotional.

Of course, I hope I don't have to attend another funeral for a while.

The most recent one was where a neighborhood friend has been left alone after the loss of his soul-mate. I think back about her and remember how she was always positive, always happy to see you. And Lynnette and I would bump into them on a date together from time to time, and you could see how they genuinely enjoyed each other's company. I got teary-eyed at that viewing every time I'd think of his life without her. As we waiting in line to see him, I found it remarkable how he seemed so composed; he seemed to be the one comforting everyone else. When we got to him, he told me to cherish Lynnette because I never know when she'll be gone. That's powerful.

Before that one, we went to one for a local family who, in one year, lost 2 daughters to two separate diseases. Again, we could see what a hole was left in that family. That event continues to affect me because I met one of the daughters at a Thanksgiving dinner where she didn't interact much; I assumed she was quiet without much to say. However, I learned at the eulogy that it was because of the disease, and besides hearing it from her family I heard it from some high-school friends I hadn't seen for years; they all talked about how much she contributed when they worked with her. Wow. Talk about having your eyes opened! That meeting was touching because the full emotion of the family came through, especially in song.

Although I hope it's a long time before I have to attend another one, I will jump at the chance to go. There is no other gathering where we fully sense and focus on all the most meaningful parts of life.